How To Bankrupt A Campaign In One Night

Friends of Krystal Ball for Congress:

We have planned for you something spectacular, fun, musical, whimsical and filled with puppets in New York City on Thursday, October 15, 2009.  We’ve rented out the entire production of the hit Tony Award-winning Broadway Musical Avenue Q!

Here are the details:

• Cocktail party with an open bar starts at 6:30 pm.
• Show starts at 8:00 pm.
• The location is New World Stages at 8th Avenue and 50th Street in Manhattan.
• Tickets start at $65 with VIP packages for $250

It’s going to be a great night.  RSVP today so you don’t miss out on all the fun!

Hope to see you there!

Krystal

PS Whether you can make the event or not, please help us spread the word by circulating this email to your NYC friends.

Paid for and authorized by Krystal Ball for Congress

Oh, where to begin.  First of all, how about the fact that Krystal Ball only sent out the invitation for this event a week or so ahead of time — and she’s holding it in NYC!  Somehow I don’t think that very many people from Virginia’s 1st Congressional Dist. will be making the trip to mid-town Manhattan on a Thursday night for this.  A smarter move would have been to hold it in one of Fredericksburg’s theatres or even in Washington, D.C.  (At least try to stimulate the local economy!)

Next up, the cost.  It turns out that, according to the Group Sales office at the theatre, to rent out the entire production costs $61 per seat and there are 499 seats in the new venue where it is moving to this week.  That comes to a whopping $30,439 just for that.  Add on top of that the open bar (which for roughly 500 people in NYC should be at least another $10,000) and you’re already looking at over $40K in costs just to put on the event.  That doesn’t include travel or lodging for the candidate or any campaign staff, either.  Nor does it include whatever a VIP package may entail.

Virtucon spies tell us that they heard Ms. Bell and her consultant say they expect to make $25,000 from this event, however she seemed pretty nervous about the money going out and their ability to make money off of this.  And what was her consultant’s bright idea to get people to attend this event?  Advertise on Facebook!  (This must be the same crazy consultant who convinced her to buy a billboard on the west-side of I-95 south of Massaponax that is so far away you can’t really tell what it is for and it never mentions “Congress” on it.)

Now, on to the image that this event projects.  First of all, there is the elitist aspect to it — renting out an entire Broadway production in Manhattan.  Let’s never mind that, though.  Ms. Ball has based her entire campaign on the fact that she is a mom and she’s running to make things better for her daughter.  Sounds wholesome enough.  But what of this play, “Avenue Q”?  Not so much.

For example, here’s the most popular song from “Avenue Q” entitled, “The Internet Is For Porn.”

Despite this play having puppets and being a not-too-veiled version of “Sesame Street,” this is not exactly a family-friendly staple that would go over well in the 1st Dist.

The entire play is described this way:

“The characters additionally use profanity in their dialogue (both spoken and sung), and the songs concern adult themes such as sexual intercourse and drugs.”

I suppose that is not quite on par with, say, Rogers and Hammerstein’s “The King and I” starring Yul Brenner.

So, from now on, Krystal Ball shall forever be enshrined in Virginia Political Folklore as, “The woman who held the fundraiser at that dirty puppet show in New York City.”  And it may very well nearly bankrupt her campaign in one night.