NEWS FLASH: Illegal Alien Children Cause Global Warming

Another Failure of the Model

A new study shows that the mass immigration of Unaccompanied Alien Children from Central America that is currently taking place is a cause of global warming. The study, produced by the Virginia Institute for Real-Time Understanding of Climate-Oriented News shows that increased vehicle emissions from buses used to transport all the illegal aliens from the border to various points around the United States “increases the carbon footprint by several shoe sizes.” In addition, the rise in carbon emissions is attributed to the increased human trafficking that has been encouraged by the Obama Administration’s failed immigration policies.

Panicked Administration officials quickly put together a press conference featuring the heads of the Department of Homeland Security and the Environmental Protection Agency. Secretary Jeh Johnson pointed out that the Administration is mitigating the human and environmental disaster by not sending the children back. “If we sent them back, that would lead to more emissions,” said the Secretary. “Besides, the law says that we can’t send them back. Normally, this Administration does not follow the law, but in this case we are making an exception.”

EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy added “Besides, it’s for the children.”

The National Republican Senatorial Committee issued an icy statement that said, “This flood will definitely cause climate change. It’s just not the change in climate that President Obama was expecting. We do not foresee any ‘warming’ to his policies.”


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