Progressive Jihad: Memo #42

From: Office of Truth And Justice
To: Our Dear Leader

MEMO # 42: Resistance Cell – “Sons Of Liberty”

The following message was intercepted by the resistance.  These reactionaries go by the name: “The Son’s of Liberty”  Among their racist, misogynistic and homophobic beliefs is that men should be judged by the content of their character, and not their skin color, income level, religious belief or sexual orientation.

We plan to deploy the response in our standard propaganda organs (NYT, ABC, CBS, John McCain etc.) No one will believe the following to be anything other than a farce.


From: Office of the High Priest
Church of Pain and Oppression
1600 Pennsylvania Av.
Washington, D.C.

To : Elders in the Congress and Courts

Subject: Allegiance to the Faith

My brothers and sisters in Despotic Progressivism . . . when confronted with an uncomfortable fact, lie about it. When confronted about the lie, lie about that also. If your antagonist persists, stonewall . . . then change the subject . . . roll out the racist, traitor, hate, capitalist pig, or 1-percenter cards. Maintain control of the narrative!

If all else fails summon the deacons of our order. Call forth the DOE, IRS, DEA, DOT, DHS, TSA, ATF, EPA, DHHS, SEIU . . . whoever . . . send a swat team in an up-armored Hum-V for a house call. Arrest the blasphemer for illegally ‘draining a wetland’ in their back yard, ‘failure to report garage sale income’ or ‘throwing a CFL lamp into the non-hazardous trash’ . . . it doesn’t matter.

The Doctrine of Limitless Transgressions is forever expanding. There are countless violations-of-convenience for which you may detain and discredit any blasphemer. We have thousands of perfectly legal opportunities to deal harshly with the enemies of the One True Faith. When an urgent need for new law is identified, notify my office immediately. Holy Writ appropriate to the circumstance will be crafted in a matter of hours. Until new law is in place, you can hold the blasphemer as a material witness.

To: My loyal deacons in the field.

Fear not. Your honor-less Congress, White House, courts and fellow bureaucrats-in-tyranny are consecrated. I have decreed, “Yea verily, ye can do no wrong. Go forth in confidence and with vigor for you have the blessings of your imperial president, force of law and a train-load of ammunition on your side.

Your humble servant in Alinsky,

B. Obama